How to get an older woman in the mood
Scientifically speaking, certain critical switches must be triggered before your partner's brain orders the release of vasoactive intestinal peptide, the chemical that increases blood flow to the pelvic area, swelling her inner and outer labia and causing her to feel the gnawing tension of sexual desire. Though the intricacies of brain chemistry may be difficult to grasp without a medical degree, there are still plenty of easy, everyday things you can do to get the requisite juices flowing. Besides, hand holding is objectively adorable. Using your own hands to give her an erotic massage—i. Check out our guide to mastering the art of erotic massage.
- My wife has no desire for sex. What can I do?
- Want to Improve Your Sex Life After 50? You Are Not Alone
- Here are six surprising ways to turn a woman on… without even touching her
- Sex After 50
- 40 Ways to Boost Your Sex Drive After 40
- How to Get an Older Woman in the Mood
- 12 Pieces of No Bullsh*t Sex Advice From the Older Women Who Know Better Than We Do
My wife has no desire for sex. What can I do?
Men and women of all ages can often struggle with knowing how to turn their partner on. Mismatched cycles of desire, natural variations in desire over time, different priorities and issues, stress, pain, and so much more can all be mood killers. Aging tends to exacerbate any existing problems of desire or sexual function as well. The net result is that a lot of couples in otherwise happy, committed relationships have trouble maintaining an active sex life with their partner, even resulting in so-called sexless marriages in some cases.
This can often lead to resentment, frustration, and cause people to cheat, among other serious consequences. Fortunately, there are some tried and true tips and pieces of advice that can help the situation. With that said, however, there are some basic principles that form the core of this advice, which are good ideas at any age, and some combination of which will likely help keep the spark alive in your relationship as you and your partner age.
It occurs somewhat differently in males and females, and the timing and amount of change that occurs will vary from person to person. In males, desire tends to peak in the teens and twenties, then decrease in a linear fashion over time.
In females, desire tends to peak in the twenties and thirties, decrease somewhat into the 40s, and then fall off precipitously with menopause. These problems are further exacerbated by the changes that occur in the body with aging, which can make sex less pleasurable or more difficult.
In men, erections become more difficult to achieve and sustain. In women, vaginal dryness and thinning of tissues is common during and after menopause. This can lead to difficulties in having sex, which can in turn decrease one or both partners desire to engage in sexual activity in the first place. Not only do some health problems have a direct impact on the ability to perform or to even feel sexy, but many seemingly unrelated health and wellness issues can disrupt mental focus, cause stress, pain, and distraction.
Medications, the usage of which tends to increase with age, can also have side effects that decrease libido or impact sexual function. Even the best-intentioned older adults can find it difficult to get in the mood with all of these problems and considerations as the background. The good news is that there are several steps that women can take for themselves, and that couples can take together, that can go a long way towards overcoming some of these issues of desire and function.
In all relationships, communication is the key to long-term happiness and success. For older women, communicating your needs and desires, and what you want is incredibly important for satisfying sex.
This is especially true given that physical and functional aspects of sex can change, and what was once pleasurable may need some adjustment. Likewise, communication from your partner, and an open, judgment-free dialogue is the only way to ensure you address the physical changes in your body, changes in desire, performance, and so on, and still enjoy a satisfying sex life together.
Stress can be a major mood killer. Unacknowledged or unaddressed stress can gnaw at your mind. It can take you right out a building sexual desire, distracting you at the worst possible times, and make getting intimate an already bigger challenge than it already is. Taking some time to relax and de-stress can be one of the best ways to get in the mood for sexual activity. A bath, meditation, massage, and some deep breathing are all great ways to set stress aside so that you can enjoy intimacy with your partner.
The decrease in estrogen associated with menopause has a pronounced impact on vaginal lubrication in most women. Aging also can result in decreased tissue density and elasticity in the vulva and vagina.
Along with the other natural considerations associated with aging — less energy, quicker to fatigue, greater concern over heart health, and so on — it all adds up to mean that any sexual activity between older adults should be done carefully and slowly. Rushed approaches to sexual activity are pretty much the exact opposite of the technique you want to use to get an older woman in the mood.
This includes plenty of time to arouse each other and enjoy the experience, as well as a general slower pace to the sexual activities you may enjoy. By the time you are an older adult, it should be clear that sex is not all about penetrative intercourse, and a lot of the pleasure and enjoyment of sex can be found in the tease and build-up. A lack of sufficient foreplay is one of the most-cited reasons for women to fail to achieve orgasm or to be insufficiently aroused for pleasurable sexual activity.
If you are experiencing issues with getting in the mood, incorporating one or more sex toys into your partnered or solo play can help.
A little vibrating friend might be just what you need to help get an older woman in the mood! In addition to trying out sex toys, one way to improve arousal and desire is to try new things.
This can include new sex positions, kinks and fetishes, roleplaying scenarios, and much more. The sky is the limit, and you may find something new that really gets you in the mood and turns you on. Too often, couples who have been together for a long time see their sex drives or sexual frequency decrease, as they become more akin to roommates than lovers.
Keep romance alive in your relationship — have regular date nights, so things for each other just to show your love, and so on. Romance is one aphrodisiac that actually works! Spontaneous sex may not be practical for older adults, or at least not as often, especially if dealing with sexual desire or function issues. This also gives both parties the benefit of time to prepare and anticipate sex, which can go a long way towards improving desire in both sexes.
Sexual function and desire issues can often be treated or improved with prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, and nutritional supplements. The changes in sex drive that come with aging are mostly the result of decreases in the amounts of sex hormones that our bodies produce.
In males, testosterone production decreases steadily as we age. In females, estrogen tends to decrease dramatically at menopause. These chemicals are, respectively, responsible for libido in men and women, and decreased levels of these hormones are correlated with a decrease sex drive. The exact interaction of menopause with female sex drive can vary significantly.
While it is true that most women see a marked decrease in sex drive during and after menopause, some experience a pronounced rebound effect shortly after menopause, regaining much of their sex drive. While pregnancy may not be a risk experienced by older adults, sexually transmitted infections STIs can be caught at any age.
This is especially important if one partner cheats. STIs can infect older adults just as easily as younger adults, and can cause symptoms far beyond those isolated to the sexual organs. However, following the tips and advice in our guide, and putting in the effort to maintaining a strong sexual relationship with your significant other, is well worth it.
Like most things in life, you get out of it what you put into it. It may not be as easy as when you were both younger, but the challenge should make it all the more rewarding. How it Works? My Account Erectile Dysfunction. Hair Loss. How to Get an Older Woman in the Mood December 21, Men and women of all ages can often struggle with knowing how to turn their partner on.
Specific Tips and Advice for Getting an Older Woman in the Mood The good news is that there are several steps that women can take for themselves, and that couples can take together, that can go a long way towards overcoming some of these issues of desire and function. Communication In all relationships, communication is the key to long-term happiness and success. Relax and De-Stress Stress can be a major mood killer. Use Lube The decrease in estrogen associated with menopause has a pronounced impact on vaginal lubrication in most women.
Go Slow Aging also can result in decreased tissue density and elasticity in the vulva and vagina. Try New Things In addition to trying out sex toys, one way to improve arousal and desire is to try new things. Have a Plan Spontaneous sex may not be practical for older adults, or at least not as often, especially if dealing with sexual desire or function issues.
Consider Medications and Supplements Sexual function and desire issues can often be treated or improved with prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, and nutritional supplements. Frequently Asked Questions Why does sex drive decrease as we age? Does female sex drive rebound after menopause? Do I need to worry about STIs as an older adult?
Want to Improve Your Sex Life After 50? You Are Not Alone
Her topic: balancing work and family. Next, as she matured, came one on self-discovery and her book on the challenges of staying married. Over 35 years, thousands of people have told me the most intimate details of their lives. Women have talked to me about shattering the myth that after menopause you have low libido.
A gynecologist offers medical advice to help you find that spark again. Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services.
Here are six surprising ways to turn a woman on… without even touching her
Women's sexual desires naturally fluctuate over the years. Highs and lows commonly coincide with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. Some medications used for mood disorders also can cause low sex drive in women. But you don't have to meet this medical definition to seek help. If you're bothered by a low sex drive or decreased sex drive, there are lifestyle changes and sexual techniques that may put you in the mood more often. Some medications may offer promise as well. If you want to have sex less often than your partner does, neither one of you is necessarily outside the norm for people at your stage in life — although your differences may cause distress. Similarly, even if your sex drive is weaker than it once was, your relationship may be stronger than ever.
Sex After 50
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A new study of sexually active older women has found that sexual satisfaction in women increases with age and those not engaging in sex are satisfied with their sex lives. A majority of study participants report frequent arousal and orgasm that continue into old age, despite low sexual desire. Researchers from the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine and the Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System evaluated sexual activity and satisfaction as reported by older women who are part of the Rancho Bernardo Study RBS cohort, a group of women who live in a planned community near San Diego and whose health has been tracked for medical research for 40 years. The study measured the prevalence of current sexual activity; the characteristics associated with sexual activity including demographics, health, and hormone use; frequency of arousal, lubrication, orgasm, and pain during sexual intercourse; and sexual desire and satisfaction in older women.
40 Ways to Boost Your Sex Drive After 40
The impression you'd get from looking at our culture around us save for a few Cialis commercials is that sex is for young people only. Take most TV shows, and you'll see sweaty young things writhing around with one another while anyone over 40 gets cut away as soon as they kiss. But getting older doesn't mean sex leaves your life. We're seriously impressed.
For some, that heightened satisfaction comes from having great sex; for others, it stems from the fact that while their sexual activity has decreased, so has their desire, the survey showed. The researchers surveyed a group of women between ages 40 and , with a median age of Half of the responders said they were sexually active, and most of those women said they were able to become aroused, maintain lubrication and achieve orgasm during sex, even after the age of Moreover, among sexually active women, those who were below age 55 or above 80 were the most likely to report satisfaction with their ability to achieve orgasms. The number of women who weren't sexually active but still expressed satisfaction surprised her as well. The study was the first of its size to focus exclusively on the sex lives of healthy women, a shift from previous efforts that had centered on studying women with sexual dysfunction, or tested the effects of hormone therapy on women's sex lives, Barrett-Connor said.
How to Get an Older Woman in the Mood
It's not uncommon to go through waves of insatiability and apathy when it comes to your sex life , especially as you age. In fact, between the fluctuating hormones raging through your body and the everyday life stressors that put sex on the back-burner, you're bound to experience a loss in libido at some point in your life. If you're looking for ways to increase and enhance your sex drive, you're not alone. Especially in men and women over 40, a low sex drive means less of a desire to jump in the sheets. The good news? A decrease in the desire to get it on is something that can be worked on. Whether it's making changes in your relationship or working on bettering your overall wellbeing, there are plenty of ways to get back on track and boost your libido. So, try out some of these ways to boost your sex drive after 40 and you're sure to feel like your old self in no time.
In theory, this is one of those articles. The implication here being that men are always ready to get it on at the drop of a hat, while women need to be coaxed, cajoled and possibly tricked into being sexually aroused. While that might work for some women, others need much more — time, flirtation, communication, arousal, whatever. First and foremost: the importance of sexual foreplay. It could be anything from kissing and dry humping, to using outercourse toys to get her warmed up for penetration.
12 Pieces of No Bullsh*t Sex Advice From the Older Women Who Know Better Than We Do
Mood and Anxiety Disorders in Women. Mood and anxiety disorders in women represent an increasingly important area of research and treatment development. The authors take a broad biopsychosocial and developmental approach to the issues, beginning with anxiety disorders in adolescence and progressing through the life phases of women to menopause and old age. All the disorders are covered, from anxiety and borderline personality disorder to stress and late-life depression.
So if you're looking for ways to increase your other half's sexual desire, it could be time to think outside the box with one of these techniques. From growing your facial hair to letting her get a good night's sleep, here are some techniques you probably haven't heard of. If you're looking to boost your bedroom antics, it could be worth forgoing the morning shave for a few days and growing some stubble. Recent research published in the journal of Evolution of Human behaviour found that day stubble was deemed the sexiest amount of facial hair.
Menopause and hot flashes have taken my sex life away. My wife is 54 and started menopause at For the past eight years it has been like I am married to my sister. My wife has no desire for sex and will not take hormones because they could cause cancer.